Root causes for barriers to personal change

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Settling disputes

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Suspending judgment: Take 2

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From primate to parent

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Smartening Up!

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Lucky loser!

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The Right Way!

There is a 'right way' to do everything. When you find the 'right way', there are no barriers to stop you from doing what you are doing, just a beautiful feeling that is hard to describe.

Now this does not mean there is 'only one way'. If there were 'only one way' then we would have found it by now and everyone would try to align to it. A lot of our struggles are to overcome this paradox.

To accomplish your mission, find the 'right way'. What makes this an interesting journey is the myriad possibilities than need to be sorted out to discover/invent the 'right way' for yourself. The myriad possibilities will sometimes distract us and most of our energies are used up in getting clarity to the 'right way'.

To discover the 'universal right way' and your 'personal right way', combine introspection with learning from someone who is truly, truly enjoying what they are doing while being successful.

Unable versus Unwilling

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The last mile... or why emotional connection is important

We all know logic and reasoning will make people think but they act based on emotion. For many of us, the effort to make the emotional connection is too much work. We explain away our social clumsiness by stating:

• "The problem has a solution, its so obvious, why can't you see it?" or
• "My job is to solve the problem, now you have a best-in-class solution. Take it or leave it" or
  
• "I don't have time to explain the details or make you feel good about adopting it, I have more productive things to do"

Now imagine a cell phone company setting up a high speed network that guarantees crystal clear audio quality. It provides customers with the latest smart phone. Phone calls can be made and received between customers on different networks. A lot of hard work, creativity, technology and investment was required to make this happen. Now imagine a situation where the customer speaks into the phone, but the listener cannot hear!

You'd say, "That's ridiculous!" And you would be right.

Now think about people connecting with each other to get things done. Each person has value to offer, but if they are not able to connect emotionally, it is unlikely that any value will be exchanged. In fact, sometimes, if the parties do not connect emotionally, they may lose value (through lost time, aggravation, hassle, stress).

50th Blog Entry!

Why do I 'blog'?

• To write down insights, so I can refer to it later
• A way to think thru tough issues, especially the ones that don't have easy answers or no answers at all!
  
• A way to share my experiences without making it look like its about me (writing style makes it easy to deny its about me :-))
  
• Make notes so my kids can learn (once I figure out how to get them to read it)
  
• Never thought talking to myself can be so much fun!

Looking forward to the next 50!

Why does conflict exist?

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Top 10 reasons for Interpersonal and Social Dysfunction

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Are social interactions like jiu jitsu or like dancing?

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Performance Appraisals

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Marital advice

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Troubleshooting communication challenges

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Assume the world is rational

What will happen? If you can do this, the following benefits will accrue:

• Your energies will be devoted to finding out 'why'

In other words, frustration will be replaced by curiosity.

• You will give up labeling people and events as 'good', 'bad', 'desirable' and 'undesirable'.

In other words, you will truly suspend judgment.

• You will accept that many things are hard (if not impossible) for you to understand
  

In other words, you will become less and less defensive and learn to say 'I don't know'.

This requires you to show patience with yourself, more than showing patience with the situation or the person frustrating you.

More on demons

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Inner demons

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Turning frustration into wisdom

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